I AM SO FUCKING PISSED I FEEL LIKE BURNING THE WORLD TO ASHES MY FUCKING COM KANNA THE FUCKING MSBLAST A-FUCKING-GAIN THIS IS THE FUCKING 4TH TIME ALREADY WHY AM I SO FUCKING SUAY AND THE FUCKING XP CD "HAPPENS" TO BE A FUCKING PIRATED ONE A-FUCKING-GAIN AND I CANNOT UPDATE THE FUCKED UP WINDOWS AGAIN I AM SO FUCKING PISSED, I SHALL NEVER BLOG AGAIN.



FUCK THE FUCKER WHO FUCKING INVENTED MSBLAST. THINK YOU ARE VERY FUNNY HUH? I HOPE A RAVING MAD DOG WITH RABIES BITES YOU ON YOUR FUCKING BALLS.

Read more »

Yes yes I know what you are thinking. I'm a fucking irresponsible bitch. If you happen to be stuck at home and clicked onto my site and realised that I haven't updated as I promised to... hey wait. Its a Friday night!!! You should be out partying instead of reading some stupid blog, hello!!



(Erm if you have hurt your knee and is currently handicapped or something, the last paragraph was said in jest, I'm sorry.)



So anyway, even now I'm not gonna do my official bdae blogging, because I'm tired.



Went to the Heineken event that I wrote about (in TODAE,not here, silly)... Heineken Starbar Music Festival with Eileen, and proceeded to go to her place to watch Austin Powers II. Damn! I'm so into the movie now.



TELL ME, DO I MAKE YOU HORNY, BABY?! *Rubs hairy chest in glee*



You are so shagadelic, baby!



Ok enough. As I was saying. I've gotta wake up tml at 8.30am to get my ass to Kembangan to purchase this.



Now, I've been waiting very long to get my paws on this... baby. I have to get it fast, because it is called... make a wild guess... a REPORTER bag. I'm serious. In full, it is a freaking Christain Dior Girly Reporter Bag. How cool is that!



Look, in case you don't get it... *snaps fingers*... Me=reporter. Bag=reporter. = BEYOND COOL.



I have to get the bag, because I will officially be a reporter (you can call me a journalist too if you wanna) till June 1. When happens to be June's (Make a guess why that name) birthday but thats not the point. The point is, I have to get the bag because I can still prance around in it for another 1 month while being a reporter at the same time, correct?



-Imaginary scenario-



Random person: Hey! Nice bag!



Me: Oh yeah baby, yeah!



RP: Its a Dior Reporter bag yeah?



Me: Oh yeah baby, yeah!



RP: And you are a reporter!



Me: Oh yeah baby, yeah! *smug look*



RP: Oh, BEHAVE!



Me: *ROOOOAAR!*



-End imaginary scenario-





MuaHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!



*****



Oh yeah one more thing. I received a very saddening email. I hope you don't mind me copying this out, Angela.



From: Angela



Friday, 30 April 2004, 16:08pm



Subject: Hi, Hopefully not my last



Hi Wendy,



I'm a faithful reader of your site. Ya..haha.. you always put a smile on my face. Anyway...



I will be going in for a surgery later. Just in case I don't wake up, I just wanna let you know your blog rocks!



Yeah... I was laughing away while reading your blog on the hospital's PC. I think the people around me must think that I am cranky.



Anyway, as a word of encouragement - GAMBATE! Oh, its "jia1 you2" in Japanese. Jia1 you2 would have been two words of encouragement. Gotta go! Bye!



*****



Ok.



Frankly speaking, I do not feel happy about this mail, but very sad instead. I have never imagined my readers to be anything more unfortunate than stressed uni students. Usually it would be a relatively siao student or the occasional porn surfer.



Someone I know (even if just thru an email) being critically ill really upsets me.



Ever heard of the saying that the power of a thousand people sitting in a hall wishing hard together that a piece of paper would catch fire, would really make the paper light up?



I don't believe it.







But no harm trying?



Let's all wish Angela all the best, shall we?



And Angela? Don't be a rude girl. I replied your mail, so you better reply me. =) I'm sure you would have a smashingly successful surgery. And then you have your friends, relatives, and debtors all waiting as well, so better get in shape fast. ;)



I will smack you if you are undergoing plastic surgery and made me so worried, btw. Ha ha...



*sits up straight*



Alrighty. I promise to blog more for you when you get outta the hospital. SOM PAH.



Putting a smile on my readers' faces? One of the most important reasons why I blog. =D Besides the one that I am an attention seeking whore of course. Ha ha.

Read more »

Heh. I dreamt of kittens shagging each other at the back of the car. They look really cute, fluffy and all. (note: cute, not sexy)



But WTF. Paedo-bestiality. I tried to throw them out because my baby walrus didn't like it. *confused look* Now where did the walrus come from?? And why doesn't he like kittens shagging?



URRRRRRGGGH!!! I think if I keep having weird dreams like that I will turn psycho.



More birthday blogging tonight with pics of bdae prezzies!! And tml is a press holiday! How cool is that??!



Updated: Have you been keeping up with mydreamd8? Click here, for I just spoofed PixiePosh. Fun. And easy. =D Go have a look, and leave a comment!



- Are you a 3 plus 2? -

Read more »

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Read more »

Its a happy happy day!!! The rain's just over and all's nice and crisp, no? Isn't this world beautiful? It's made more beautiful, but the fact that tomorrow....



I turn 20.



=)

Read more »

Warning: SUPER LONG BLOG ENTRY. It's so long, it can be seen on the moon.



Warning: LOADS of photos (may I repeat, hosting courtesy of the generous and talented Mr Chester Tan), please wait for them to load.



Birthday celebration with Poly friends yesterday



Went to Marina South for Steamboat with June, Clara, Ivan (Clara's bf since sec 2 or something, gross!), Eric (who had the misfortune of sitting beside me so no photos of him), Ben (aka quikquiksilver if you haven't noticed), AND... TADAH! Androgenous Aaron~ Now don't you all miss him. her. HIM.







Clara cooking while June be the glutton. Look at Clara's face. She is disgusted to see you.







June and Ivan coincidentally wearing the same colour, pink. I suspect, this is because they know I'm gonna take photos so they might as well blend into my website's background.







WTF are those little black specks man!!!







COULD IT BE?? FLYING ANTS?!



Fucking things kept attacking Ivan (who happens to be closer to them since he is taller). So anyway, one of its members fell into my plate and died a happy fly after feasting on some eggs and seaweed (seaweed is Idris' favourite food).







Ben: Hiyah eat la who cares about the flies.

Androaaron: I have never seen smoke in my life! I'm shocked!







Ben's got with him a LIVE PRAWN hanging onto dear life by a mere whisker!!! AND IT IS GOING TO....







die. (Btw I think Ben looks very cute in this photo, ha ha)







The end of the steamboat. We proceed to.......



KTV!!!













Oh shit Ben caught me taking a photo of the guys... He is walking over....



































"Don't take la!!!"







At the KTV. Alright, June look a little weird in this photo and if I post it up she will scold me so I shall cover her with a half-transparent pink strip. Tell me if you want it taken off, June.



It was a good day... Until....



*****



How fucking suay one can get.



First off. The KTV bill was supposed to be $58++, but it turned out to be $128, after adding the fucking fruits and wet tissues. So we all paid like $20 each?!



I got out of the KTV at 2330, intending to take the last bus home, which is at 2342. See, we were at cuppage, and I was walking to the 143 bus stop, so I passed by the MRT right?



Just a few steps away from the bus stop, I saw 143 cruise past.



HAPPILY.



I wanted to stop it, but I was seperated from the road by some bushes. I swear I would kill the bushes another day. Fucked up bushes!



Guess who I saw hiding inside the bushes?



(Just kidding didn't see them in the bushes)



So anyway I told them: "Hey you guys like a boyband!"



And they said, "We do? Then lets take a photo!"



Back to our story of how much bad luck I had yesterday.



I checked my watch, and realsied its only 2337, which means there COULD be another bus. I checked my hp, and realised... that its 2348 and my watch is slow. DAMMIT!



After this, I brisk-walked (which is difficult considering the height of my heels) to the MRT station, to realise that the last train has gone, and I have no money to take a cab because the last buck I have on me is spent at the KTV.



How cool is that?!



After this, Eileen, who was supposed to be at Zouk, gave me a tinker and announced she is at... CINELEISURE! WATCHING A MOVIE! WITH A FRIEND AND SOME GUY WHO WOULD SEND ME HOME!



Naturally I joined her.



The movie, already chosen by the group, is SUICIDE CLUB.



And Its the suckiest movie I have EVER seen. Thats saying a lot , considering I survived halfway through the chiong Finding Nemo II I bought from Malaysia.



Now, I'm gonna tell you all about the movie. It contains spoilers, but I bet I can't spoil the movie anymore than it is.



The movie starts of dramatic. 54 school girls, chatting away at a train platform, suddenly stood in a neat row. They held hands, spoke in a cute Jap schoolgirl voice (ok what else can they speak in ha ha ha ha), and in unison, rocked their hands back n fro, and when they bullet train approached, JUMPED.



Blood splattered everywhere. Meat flew. The only thing left on the platform, is a sports bag, very fila-like.



The bag contains a roll of human skins (rectangular shaped) from different people sewn together.



It is unrealistic how the train did not get derailed after going over so many bodies.



Now the fucked up story begins. 2 Policemen, one old and one average, are all out to investigate the suicides.



Next scene flash: Schoolkids in school. They were talking about the suicides and suddenly, one girl says, "WATCH ME DIE!!" in a boasting manner. The rest followed her up the roof top and stood before the latch, and held hands, rocked, and shouted 1,2,3, and really jumped to their death.



BLOODY UNREALISTIC. Fucking hell. There was no explanation why the cheerful teens would die like that.



The police found, as given by this anonymous caller called THE BAT, a website which has dots representing the death victims.



The Bat gets kidnapped by a siao guy called Genesis who claims to have killed the people, but its actually not him, thus wasting our time watching the whole Genesis-torturing-The Bat scene. (A whole 20 mins of my life!)



Songs by this girl-band called Dessert kept playing over and over again. Average age of girls in Dessert? 12.5.



200 more people kill themselves, some with stupid methods, such as putting the head into the oven. If people can die by putting their head into ovens, WHY CAN'T THEY JUST HOLD THEIR BREATH, HUH??! Huh??! STUPID.



Old policemen's children die (btw the people who die are all kids and teens) and he kills himself as well, after hearing this mysterious phone call which spouted utter nonsense:



"If you kill yourself you connection with the world still exists, so why live? And how are you connect to yourself?"



WTF? The fellow shot himself in the head.



In the end, its Desserts' songs which has a secret code when says "suicide". The phone will ring ala The Ring and you go to this backstage where your skin will get grafted off to form the human chain of skin. After that, you commit suicide.



WTF??! There's no explanation whatsoever to why the people would kill themselves. Look, the schoolkids didn't hear Dessert before they died?!



I WANNA KILL SOMEONE. I WASTED $8.50 on this fucked up show! AND MY LIFE! MY TIME!! WAH LAU!



The stupid show is unrealistic, has absolutely no meaning, no sex or boobs, no intelligence, no humour and worst of all, encourages suicide! I don't understand why it is even approved! I don't understand!! Why??! Why is such a movie here in Singapore?! My eyes!! AHhhh!



So please don't watch it. Boycott it. SPREAD THE WORD!!!



(BTW the lousy movie concludes my suay-ness)



*****



The guy who drove Eileen and I home



Yesterday, I watched the movie with Eileen, her best friend Xiuling, and another two of Xiuling's friends.



Now, I was pretty fine with Xiuling's friend, Jeremy, until the point of time when he was sending Eileen and I home, since he drove.



Ok, the thing is, he doesn't not wanna send me home. He promised XL to send Eileen home, but he expressed unwillingness to send me when I joined the group. Now, my home is a 5 min drive from Eileen's.



Seriously speaking, I understand that since he doesn't know me, he has NO OBLIGATIONS at all to send me home. I am no one to him. Whether I get raped or robbed is perhaps of no concern to him. But at 4am, you want a girl to go home by herself when its just a 5 min extra drive for you to ensure her safety?



Later on when we were going to his car, he told XL that he and Xiuling would go to Beauty World to eat, and Eileen and I can jolly well take a cab from there.



Ok i can understand that.



But since Eileen and I are ultimately broke, Eileen actually requested that he send both of us, can or not?



He said ok, so we went to Eileen's place, and Eileen has once saw a flasher below her block, so she is scared of walking alone. Thus, she told him to turn into the carpark.



When Jeremy reached Eileen's block and Eileen is gone, he remarked out loud, "Wah, she very lazy ah she..."



WTH?! WHAT A TOTAL JERK! WHO IS LAZY? You have a bloody car, and you don't wanna drive another 30 seconds, and you want her to walk all alone in the dark? Hello?



Later on, when he reached my place, I told him to stop outside the carpark (in case he grumble again). He actually said, "See, she better, she not so lazy."



WELL, FUCK YOU.



FUCK YOU, JEREMY. If I get raped on the long walk (its long, around 7 minutes, VERY secluded) back, ITS YOUR FUCKING FAULT.



I am so pissed, I hope his car gets burned tomorrow. People like that don't deserve to drive. Oh btw. Its a Honda Civic.



URGH. I am so angry.



*****



Pictures pictures!!







My goodness recently I keep having good hair days!!







I bought these sunglasses from This Fashion at a ridiculous price of $3.20. Yes, I'm a bloody cheapo.



*****



Hate mail



Now, usually I don't get much hate mail, but recently two has been pissing me off. They piss me off not because they are hatemail, but because there are such disgusting and uncivilised people on Earth.



Even if I get hate mail, usually I don't post them up because I respect the privacy of the people who give me feedback, even if its bad. BUT THESE TWO HAD IT COMING.





Hate mail 1



BY: Eric Goh, email: gohtzaniee@mac.com



Subject: XiaoXue? who da F*** is dat?



I think u r one hell of a bitch dat got absolutely nuthing better to do

in life. So u resort in spending ur time n writing shits like this.

Sorry this is my first time here and it will be my last. The only thing

good about ur site is ur pretty looking face that to me seems so

f**kable. The rest is history..



my 2 cents,

chill.



My reply:



I'm gonna publish this. =)



It might not be the last time since u might want to see it.



Thanks for sending me hate mail. Been long since I got one.



Eric Goh:



attention seeking SL*T like u sld be taught a lesson. How bot some s*x

education with me? Ill make u a happy bitc*.



My reply:



Oh yeah Eric? Or should I call you Egg? I wonder what your friends are going to be thinking about your behaviour? Bet they had no idea you were this disgusting huh?



And look at yourself, seriously.







I don't think I wanna fuck you. No thanks. YOU ALL TOO UGLY FOR ME.



And please, grow up. This is not mydreamd8.com. You can scold vulgarities if you want to, don't need to star star them like some kid, you are already 26.



Heres what his friend Rena said about him:



"He's also a very talented graphic designer,very creative and extremely interested in creating special effects on his own pics,haha! U shld know wat i mean?? Gals outta! Watch out for this S.N.A.G!"



S.N.A.Gs don't go to the internet to ask people to fuck him for making themselves happy bitches you know, Rena??





*****





Hatemail 2



BY: (Tribunary) Ben Tan, slk320sg@hotmail.com

Subject: YOU ARE JUST LIKE HER



u know wat.... alll those cotradicting remarks u made.... makes u so very gemini till the extend tat i seriously and strongly feels tat u r juz like her....





Original picture sent to me was with the penis and nipples of course.



i'm not saying similar physically but ur image projected to me upon comparison,juz like her physique...... haha

hope u get wat i fuking mean...



sorry to disturb and thanks if u do spend the last few seconds to read up my opinion.



kan bei



My reply



LOL... That was very funny. =D







Don't you realise your girlfriend looks a little like the transversite? Hahahaha. Thats a praise BTW.



I was thinking if I should post your picture up. Should I? Complete with your email and name? Or should I just leave Soyoung a message in friendster telling her your fucked-up behaviour?



Hey Ben, next time before you send hatemail, smarten up.



And last thing. You are fucking childish. Sending hatemail to silly internet bloggers who are totally not in your life at all. Nothing better to do?



You should know better, you are already 83.



Cheers,

Wendy



Ben Tan



oh no......... i guess u spent the few secs of ur life reading my mail and misunderstanding it........ by no imeans is my mail a hate mail.... i kinda like ur blog and i'm juz voicing my views and i guess i can't express well.....sorry



apologies



My reply

Note: I am very pissed coz I HATE PEOPLE PATRONISING ME



Ha ha very funny Mr Tribunary Tan. It wasn't too nice when I saw the picture. So you send females pictures like those huh? I think I WILL post it up (ur mail AND my reply). Ever heard of the saying "kill one and warn 100"? Yeah. Think I shall do that. =)



If you can't express well, DON'T EVEN WRITE. Kinda like my blog? You make me laugh you know.



Apology NOT accept. You are not sincere. You are just piss-scared.



And I'm not being mean here. If you apologize and say that you are sorry for being rude, because in essence I did not do any harm to you and I do not deserve the insults, I would have forgiven you in a jiffy.



BUT, where you went wrong, Mr Tan, is when you tell me you "kinda like my blog".



LIAR. I hate people patronising me. I hate people telling me such obvious lies and expecting me to believe them. What do you take me for, a moron? I may be a bitch, Benjamin, but I am not stupid.



Prepare to see yourself up in my blog in a few days.



(oh yeah. If you did not mean it that way, I'm sure the readers can tell, so worry not.)



*****



That sums up my blog entry for the day! (I think I wrote this for like 3 hours or something (with pic editing which took some time), my god.)



Here's some eye candy for you because you read so much.

Read more »

I was reading July's archives.



Three entries down, and I think to myself:



I have grown so much.



Cheers. =) I no longer write the childish way I used to (to hate mail that is).





Heres a little preview for blog content tomorrow:



1) The KTV session.

2) How suay I was.

3) The suckiest movie in the world

4) Fucked up guy who drove me home.

5) Fire disaster at Cineleisure (complete with pictures, mind you, like the professional journalist I am)

6) One stupid fucker who sent me hate mail then pissed in his pants. (I will tell you why)

7) One more fucker who sent me hate mail (but actually added me as friend in friendster). Did I once reject his advances or something? *tsk tsk*

8) More, and more and more (self) picture galore!!!!!!!!!! Naked! *kidding*



Fucking gross day btw. I'll got to wake up for working tomorrow @ 545am, which means I am gonna sleep for 40 mins now. End work at 2pm, so I shall come home, take a good nap, and blog to my heart's content!



Newsflash: Somebody entered my site by typing spongebob squarepants + naked in google. SERIOUSLY. Necrophile is ridiculous enough, I can't believe we have a spongephile.

Read more »

Shianux: I can't believe you have a "happy blogger" scrolling around.



Xiaxue: Yeah man it looks ridiculous, ha ha ha!



Shianux: I know.



*****



I am a happy blogger! Gotta celebrate my birthday tomorrow with my poly friends. Happy. =) (although my bdae is not till 28th)



As for my evil RV friends...



EK is becoming mad after her stressful law exams and she has been doing what she has NOT (apparently it shows in her tummy) been doing in a million years: JOG. Mad. Sports people are mad. I don't understand. EK used to walk leisurely beside me during 2.4. WHAT HAPPENED TO HER?! LAW EXAMS MAKE PEOPLE GO MAD! SOMEBODY SAVE HER!



XF is having exams. PY is having exams and shopping for epilators.



Ghimz the Giam is screwing the tiger girls in his army camp, no doubt.



They are all not free for the happy (birthday) blogger. =(



Never mind, I can wait. =D

Read more »

Hi World.



David Ngiau wants me to introduce to



everyone Chao Peh, whom he claims



is the best-looking dude in the



newsroom, as acclaimed by one gay



subeditor.



In case you readers are getting the frowny look coz you don't understand, my editor commanded me to write that. Private joke. Editors are weird people. *frowny look* Ignore this post please.

Read more »

Alrighty!!!



*Clashes cymbals in an uncivilised manner*



Kachang kachang kachang!!



LIKE THE NEW DESIGN??!



Good news people. I have got a new image host from Mr. Chester Tan (domain under the same name). THANK YOU! And he doesn't even want a blowjob! Ha ha ha



So anyway, I was messing around with the HTML a little.



Yes yes I know... The sparkly marquee looks... erm.. a bit gay. But never mind la, I somehow can't make a space for my pic to be seen if the marquee is absent. My HTML not that great la huh.



If you were here since the last century or so, you would have realised that fucked up imagestation deleted my scrolling marquee of photos.



THUS, I REPLACED THEM WITH THE STUPID COUNTERS!



It looks so lethargic and funny. Stupid counter! Ha ha ha ha.... I think I might just leave it there if I'm any lazier.



One more thing: KILL BILL 2 ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY RULES!!! More about that later. Just go watch it. Its DAMN good.



May I repeat. DAMN GOOD.



(To those who went like, "Got change meh, first time I am here", I really wanna ask you... WHAT WERE YOU DOING EARLIER IN YOUR LIFE??! But congrats, you found me now. =D)

Read more »

Dustbins and Loos



Ok before I forget, here�s a little piece of information I would like to share. In any case if you managed to swallow the 2850 words I wrote in my last last blog entry, you would realise that you terribly miss the colour of pictures in this plain website.



Well, for an infinite period of time, THERE WOULD BE NO PICTURES! Why? It's because, I realised with rude shock, that my stupid com does NOT HAVE A �D� or �E� drive!!!



WTF???



Since this is the case (no doubt the works of a mysterious hacker who hacked into my com to remove the drive out of spite), I cannot have pictures.



Now, the smart you would be wondering. What has having no CD drive got to do with pictures?



The thing now is, my Adobe Photoshop CS has expired after a blissful 30-day trial, so I plan to uninstall it and install it again, this time checking out the serial key first. HOWEVER, THERE IS NO D DRIVE! No photoshop=no photos. And I am too lazy to go to download.com.



As you guys would possibly have realised, imagestation screwed up on me. I found this burnt CD of mine, which contains all my photos! How lucky! BUT THERE IS NO D DRIVE!



So this website will remain screwed FOREVER until the mysterious hacker puts my D drive back in back, and hopefully as a bonus, throw in a DVD writer as well.



Anyway Camblog seems to be screwing up on me as well. I welcome suggestions to where I can host an infinite amount of photos without it ever screwing up. Please email me!



Ok back to our topic at hand, dustbins.







The one thing, which must have pissed everyone off when they are taking the above transport nowadays, would be dustbins, or the fucking lack of them.



Seriously speaking. If you have a piece of garbage you wanna throw, you would realise that there is no bin (AT ALL) for you to dispose of it. If you can find a dustbin in an MRT station, good for you. Please treasure it and sell it for a million bucks, for that must be the only dustbin in all the MRT stations. You would have to resort to burning garbage, and they would fine you.



WHY? Why has SMRT decided to remove all their precious dustbins from its loyal patrons like you and me?



Is it because:



a) Dustbins are smelly;

b) They are thinking of gathering all the dustbins and selling them at a high price to Sri Lanka by telling the locals that the dustbins are magic stones which can make rain and make crabs get caught easily;

c) They love people littering so that travel guides would stop saying Singapore�s MRT stations are like hospitals;

d) They just did it coz they hate us;

e) They just did it coz they hate us as no one is buying the products advertised on the MRT board which is MEANT to show us arrival time (like the good old days) but keeps flashing gastric products;

f) They have decided to retrench dustbin-emptying staff without realising that they would have to hire more people to pick up litter;

g) They suspect that people might put the dustbin over their head and pretend to be walking dustbins and thus refuse to pay MRT fares;



OR



h) They think that bo liao people might put bombs into the dustbins to blow up the mass amount of patrons in MRT stations. No doubt the *oooh! am I scared! * interchanges like JURONG EAST and Raffles place is in the most danger.



It�s a tough question which the majority of us would have difficulty answering. All the options seems feasible and logical.



The answer is H.



Yesterday, I was eating some Mos Burger while waiting for a friend to arrive. Just when I bought the burger, he called to saying he is two stations away, and I rushed to force the burger down, as being the good citizen I am, I will NEVER eat on the MRT. It is very rude indeed.



It turns out the two unfortunate mix of events caused me to finish the burger on the dot just before I entered the gantries.



Logically speaking, I used my index and thumb to hold on to the sticky piece of shitty wrapper while waiting for the train. CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW STUPID THAT LOOKS?



I looked around frantically for a dustbin, but with no avail. In the end, I got so pissed with the sticky wrapper, that I left it on a deserving fire extinguisher. Why, I am a litterbug. SO? BLAME ME WILL YOU?



I can so imagine the fuddled old board of directors going into a meeting:

D1: Recently there have been reports of bomb scares in MRT stations. While the reports are bogus and harmless in essence, it is not good to have our corporate image tarnished. WE WILL NOT BE KNOWN AS A TRANSPORT SYSTEM FOR FEEDING BOMBS! We are here to provide transport for Singaporeans, amidst it being too fucking expensive, BUT SAFE AT LEAST!



D2: Yesterday you said you want the world to die, best if it happens at Ang Mo Kio coz that�s the hottest MRT station in Singapore. Actually I think its Clementi.



D3: No la, confirm Bedok, siao bo.



D1: ENOUGH! You guys are not listening! We have a crisis here! WHAT CAN WE DO TO PREVENT THE BOMBING FUCKS?!



D2 and D3: Wah lau you damn dramatic leh.



D1: *rolls eyes* The thing is, we cannot prevent the terrorists from taking MRTs.



D2: Can. Increase price lor. Terrorist very poor one.



D3: Yeah what makes you think so?? Osama very rich what!



D1: QUIET!



D4 ~ D15: * nods *



D2 & D3: Sorry lor.



D1: I think, since we cannot prevent them from taking MRT� ANYWAY SMRT MUST BE KNOWN AS A STATION WHICH IS NON-DISCRIMINATING! That�s why the xiaxue girl�s suggestion that we ban stinky ah pehs will NOT be accepted! Despite me agreeing that it is unfair to the durians. Back to my point. We must prevent them from putting bombs. I welcome suggestions.



D2: Can. Increase price of bombs lor, terrorist very poor one.



D3: Wah lau already tell you they rich liao!



D1: SHUT UP!



D4, meekly: How big are the bombs?



D2: Pamela Anderson�s ones too big to hold in one hand wa ha ha ha ha!



-D1 kills D2-



D4: Wow. Ok, as I was saying. They can bring the bomb in, but they must not have places to hide the bombs.



D1: Why? Bombs, even out in the open, can kill.



D4: If the terrorist holds the bomb in the open, he would have people trying to stop him. Even if they don�t, he has to sacrifice his life to have the bomb explode and kill the maximum amount of people.



D1: So we should get rid of dustbins.



D4: Why???



D1: They can put bombs in dustbins.



D3: It will be a stink bomb wa ha ha ha ha ha ha!



D4: They can still put the bombs in other places, like under the seats.



D1: Yeah but an exploding dustbin is far less glamourous than an exploding seat! Look, I can imagine headlines alright? �EXPLODING DUSTBIN IN MRT STATION KILLS TRILLIONS�. How gross is that for our corporate image?



D3: How about people who eat Mos burgers and have no place to throw their wrappers?



D1: Well, screw them. They can always leave it on top of the fire extinguishers.



-Applause�

We Singaporeans await, gloomily, the day when the dustbins will come back.



Loos



No, the toilets are still around, but I am talking about Beckham�s latest news that he has been fucking a Loo.



By the way, I think fuckaloo sounds damn funny. Maybe they should use this word for people who fuck outside marriages.



�So you think your husband is damn faithful? You are wrong! He is the biggest fuckaloo I know!�



So anyway, I am happy.



I am very gleeful when people in my top 15 shaggable list have problems with their girlfriends/boyfriends/wives.



After all, Beckham is 7th or something right?



Since Beckham has been proven to be attracted to less than posh boobs, I�m sure I stand a higher chance shagging him. Well, it IS a step closer! If Posh divorces him (which she most definitely would not unless David-I-am-freaking-rich-Beckham has a small dick but since Loo said she had the time of the life or something, Beckham surely has a respectable member), I would stand a higher chance of making Beckham fall in love with me.



I mean, look at loo! (wa ha ha ha ha look at loo) She is fugly! And old! WHAT WAS BECKHAM THINKING??



So anyway, here�s what I plan to do to Beckham the next time he is here in Singapore (which hopefully is in 1 month�s time so that I can tag along with the sports team to meet him). It is a very detailed plan of how I can manage to get him to *ahem *:





�Hi Becks!�



�Hi Wendo!�



�Its Wendy. But nvm. As I was saying, would you like to have sex, and then do the interview?�



�Oh sure!�









Erm.









Tadah!

Read more »

*pssh* Updated Singtel Blog. For those who are not interested or have not kept up with the contest, you can skip it. =D



As for the blogging here? I will get it up and running in a while, maybe by midnight or something. Halfway done.



Love ya all!



*Updated* I will not be blogging tonight, just wrote a super long email to Singtel pleading them to do something.

Read more »

Here I am, at Benjamin's place, doing some blogging before proceeding to Mahjong Madness.



Alrighty I'm feeling very delighted from the cheap thrills I have been getting recently out of working at TODAY.



Speaking of TODAY, I was looking at xiaxue.blogspot.com on my work computer the other day, when my features editor Mr. David Ngiau (don't you find his name damn cute??) sneaked up on me from behind, no doubt stood there for a long moment to observe what I was doing, then proceeded to say loudly,



"AHA! What is this??", thus scaring the shit out of me.



Now thats damn despicable, sneaking up on interns like that, despite the company actually paying me while I surf silly websites. Well maybe not that silly, as you know, Its so Good, Its Almost Porn.



Slightly afraid that he would see the edited pink picture of me in what seems like a very skimpy lacy pink nightie, I used all the strength in my index finger to scroll my mouse wheel in an superfast speed down, down, down...



It didn't work.



Bending out, he continued in loud exclamation, "IS THAT YOU?"



He is boss. I watched in helplessness as he took over Ruler-Of-The-Mouse, scrolled up again, and had a look of shock as he saw his intern in well... A pink nightie. Or at least, a spag strap that looks like a pink nightie.



"IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE YOU!" he awed.



"Yeah well, edited by photoshop what! And don't give me that look k, i admit that its edited by photoshop. Don't believe hover your mouse over the picture."



"Hohum..."



To my utmost relief, he let go of the mouse. To my utmost horror, he used the keyboard to type ctrl F, and "TODAY".



So yeah. He is not interested in anything that I write, as long as I don't mention my internship company in it.



Search results showed him alot of todays - after all this is a blog right, the typically blog entry should start with "Dear diary, today I shitted" etc etc.



To confuse my editor should he ever sneak up on me and do the same stunt again, I shall type alot of "todays" in this blog entry. Do not be surprised if a TODAY comes out all of a sudden.



A friend of mine suggested TODAY that I should stop writing TODAY as TODAY but instead should, from today onwards, write TODAY as TODAE.



A pretty good idea. I think I shall do that today.



Except for this blog entry which is meant to confuse my editor, today.



TODAY

TODAY

TODAY

TODAY

TODAY

TODAY

TODAY

TODAY

TODAY

TODAY

TODAY



Alrightly. A few days ago, if you happened to have got your copy of TODAY, We would have Set You Thinking. Kidding. In actual fact, you would have seen my article on it, called Eyeing Rachel, which basically contains some interviews I had with the contestants of Eye For A Guy.



I was walking rather forlornly (recently I keep having spells of forlorn-ness, I think its excessive masterbation *kidding*), when I saw this fellow at Raffles place sitting down reading a newspaper.



Now this fellow, looks EXACTLY like the kind of guy who reads Computer Times. I was thinking to myself, "AHA! If he is reading Computer Times, I will treat myself to some Mrs Fields. If he is not, I will treat myself to some Mrs Field."



He was reading TODAY. Boy am I pleasantly surprised.



As I walked nearer to him, I realised he was not only reading TODAY, but was, in actual fact, reading MY ARTICLE.



How cool is THAT??!



Look, a guy reading my article!! I am so pleased. The fellow was not even reading as in reading and flipping it over in a bit. HE WAS SCRUTINISING IT!



My heart went a-flutter and the forlorn-ness disappeared. However, there came this naggy little voice in my head which went something like, "Hiyah you siao ah he only looking at Rachel Lee's boobies can!"



The little voice died down in a while as I sent another bigger voice to scold it with something like, "CCB SHUT UP LA, OR I WILL SLAP YOUR BLOODY FACE!" As far as I know, the owner of the bigger voice beat the little voice to a pulp as well.



As for me, I was floating on cloud ninty nine for two days. I know I know... Thousands of people read my site too, but hey! Its different when you see it in real life.



Today was I was going on today's MRT train to go to Ben's place, I saw around 3 people reading TODAY.



I suddenly had a revelation that my Tay Ping Hui article should be out on today's TODAY! And my angmoh sub-ed, if I didn't remember wrongly, mentioned something along the lines of "cover".



Suddenly I was filled with desire to get my paws on a copy of TODAY. It is a compulsive need!! A blood-thristy desire! The only problem. It is 2pm and TODAY would all be snatched up, and I wouldn't pass by an 7/11s.



I resisted my carnal urges until I was going down the escalator, and this fellow in front of me was clutching loosing on to a copy of TODAY as if he was about to use it for dog-poo purposes soon. If only he knew my needs! I lightly contemplated just snatching it and running away, but I realised I was on a escalator, plus he was with his pregnant wife, not good to let her worry as her husband chases after me in pursue of a precious daily.



So I asked, "Hi, I was just wondering if... you are done with your copy of Today, can I have it?"



He looked at his wife, and actually said, "Hmm.... I'm not done with it actually..."



"Oh," I said, at a loss for words that someone who possibly got this valuable piece of newspaper at around 9 in the morning is 'not done with it'. "Oh you see.. Coz, erm, my friend is featured inside and I really wanna read it... and I can't get another copy.."



In case you are thinking that "my friend" is referring to myself, you are wrong. I am referring, shamelessly, to Tay Ping Hui. Yes, he has not replied my email YET (please note the yet), but I DON'T CARE.



Back to our story, the man give a look of reluctance to his wife (or maybe fuck buddy, you would never know nowadays), and said, "Oh well ok you can have it."



I felt triumpant. I felt like I just won the Korean War. Its damn cool, someone reluctant to give me the paper which I wrote (rather, typed) for! How cool is that??! It MUST be my Tay Ping Hui article working its magic! I'm so elated! Oh dammit I must be a good journalist! I am filled with motivation to do my best for the world of journalism!



Sad news is, my article is not on the cover. Good news is, WHO CARES? It's still on the first page of +PLUS (features section, like LIFE in ST), and as long as I get to write, I don't care what kinda article it is, as long as it is published!



Back to Mahjong and more blogging tonight, if I feel like it.



Love ya all!

Read more »

How great is it to be back here!!! LOL...



Throughout this long break, I have forgotten how comfortable it is to click on Blogger and write here.



Finally, all of you who are sick of the dreamd8 thing can heck care about it and return to my blog without reading one more word that has anything to do with it.



Some nonsense issues here: (And my severe warning, this blog entry is fucking fucking long)



1) Alvin



Alvin, the great guy whom you all have been reading about (not much though, coz after all boyfriend he is not) for the past three months, has disappeared. Just like that. *snaps fingers twice* Into thin air.



I don't understand men, really. He has been so sweet and nice! I told him that I am not prepared to go into a relationship with him, but he told me its alright, he will wait. He says he just wants to see me happy, and that's sufficient for him.



Well it seems that's utter bullshit. MEN. This just makes me super jaded. Seriously, humans are just self-centred creatures who live for themselves and blowjobs/showerheads, and I am not denying that despite trying hard not to, I'm like that as well. Except the showerhead part.



So anyway it went like this:



Alvin did not contact me for two days. Last conversation was fine, and ended with an ironic "I will call u tomorrow."



WTF??!



This is not the first time he is doing this. He went missing not once, but TWICE before, and always come back after with the typical "I miss you so much and I will not do this again."



I DON'T UNDERSTAND?! If he needs time off, why can't he just tell me, "I need some time off", then disappear while I go club and shag other guys? (joking) Why must gei siao say got nothing wrong, then don't reply msgs and pretend that phone on silent/low batt??!



I absofuckinglutely hate guys who go missing and avoid issues! What's the point? Can someone tell me what's the point??!



Me, calling using a different line: *ring ring!*



Alvin, in chirpy voice: "Hello!" (As if I must be Pamela Anderson asking him if he could touch my boobies)



Me: Oei you avoiding me ah?



Alvin: Umm. Ah... No la...



Me: Speak up and quit wasting my hi card money ok!



Alvin: *deep breath, chirpy voice gone* Ummm.. I just thought... *pause for 5 seconds*



Me: JUST THOUGHT WHAT? SAY LA!



Alvin: Umm... We can't go on like this....



Me: OK BYEEE! *kup phone*



- silence -



Why ah? Why are some people like that? It took him 3 months to realise that we can't go on like that? Wow! And if I did not use another line to call him, is he ever gonna tell me "we cannot go on like this"? And what I am supposed to do the period of time he is avoiding my calls?? Report to the police that he must be eaten up by a python in Tekong, huh?



Put the story up on show 'Missing'?



The next time a guy does that to me, I swear I would do this:



----



Me, calling in an out-of-breath tone: Hey Alvin, you avoiding me ah?



Alvin: Umm... oh... ah... um...hohum...



Me: Oh it's alright you know!



Alvin: It is?



Me: Yeah coz I like.. *breathless* went to Maldives while I was so worried for you... *Puff* and I like met the GREATEST guy ever... Alvin, meet David...



David (played by random guy friend): Hi Alvin, Wendy thought I would say hi to you... One more thing though. If you are thinking of pulling off the trick of playing missing and then coming back and saying you still love her, fuck off, coz she is mine now *smooching sound*.



Me: Don't be sad Alvin. You said you will be happy for me, and David has the longest dick ever.



David: Oh... oh... I'm cum-ing don't stop honey!!! ohhh... oh my god.. oh Wendy...



Me: *giggles*



Alvin: OH YOU GUYS ARE SICK!



Me and David: Oh fuck that was sooo good baby..



Alvin: Suck it.



Me: Oh you stained the phone Dave!!!



Alvin: *kup*



Me and David: CONGRATULATIONS! AND CELEBRATIONS!!!



-----



Anyway, that's not the point. The point is, I am a 100% single person once again (I was 2% attached previously).



I dig Chinese High guys. I dig law students. I dig hackers, pirates, elves, and pilots. If you are any of the above, please email with an invitation to go to your private yacht to have sizzling sex.



Except if you are a pirate, or elf, please send a press release to news@newstoday.com for an exclusive interview as well, would do good for my internship.



2) Shianux



Perhaps one of the best things I got out of my blog yet, is Shianux, a blogder.



He is damn smart, pretty good looking, (he says he has a 90% orgasm rate as well but that?s none of my business) and perhaps one of the few readers who managed to get my phone number during a half hour IRC chat, which is super impressive considering the amount of people who DIDN'T manage to do that.



Now, upon hearing Alvin's sad xia chang, this is what Shianux said:

Me: Fuck it Alvin is missing AGAIN! What the hell is wrong with him?!



Shianux: Oh why?



Me: I don't know!



Shianux: You know what I think?



Me: What?



Shianux, very matter-of-factly: I think you should go after Tay Ping Hui.



Me: Siao, he wouldn't like a girl like me la CRAZY!



Shianux: Why wouldn't he like a girl like you? (said in a tone which shows he thinks I am fantabulous.)



Me: Coz he can choose to fuck anyone he wants perhaps? Why me?



I forgot Shianux's answer, but considering I do have Ping Hui's email address, I emailed him.

The results? I don't know yet, will tell you guys soon. And if you happen not to know why I got his email, you've just got to buck up and read every single fucking entry, I can't keep repeating myself for you alright?!



*

Shianux is mad. We were having a discussion on how much people claim to love someone, but how do they prove it?



Shianux thinks that the best way to see if a guy truly loves his gf, is to ask him this question:



If one day, your gf stays exactly the way she is right now, which is also means she retains everything you love about her, but she suddenly grows a dick, would you still be with her? She retains her female organs and everything else, just that there's a dick there somewhere?



Great. What's YOUR answer?



For me, if I love my girlfriend (if I were a guy), I would still be with her even if she has a dick. There is only one problem though.



HER DICK CANNOT BE BIGGER THAN MINE.



I mean seriously, that would suck. I don't mean literally.



*

Shianux is GREAT at arguments.



Heres what one stupid spammer, unwittingly stumbling upon my comments link in a feeble attempt to bring me down, said:

U never deserved to get so far (in the dreamd8 contest). You write very well, and you are amazingly eloquent. I commend you for your talents.



But you aren't a dream date at all. You are shallow, egoistic, hypocritical and immature. You bitch, complain, whine, and basically speak without thinking.



If i was stranded on a deserted island with you and a goat and i had to choose someone for sex.... I would get you to hold the goat.



You deserve this embarassment.

AntiNeo | 04.11.04 - 9:10 am | #

And later on, Shianux's reply:

AntiNeo: you seem to be operating under the assumption that a goat wld want to have sex with you. please do not flatter yourself so, it is unbecoming of an asshole to butter yourself up like that, unless you're preparing yourself to be shafted good and proper.



Speaking abt XX, she's too good for you anyway. No one, especially not her, wants to touch your putrescent genitals with a 10foot pole. You might have better luck with your local hole in the wall.

Shianux | Email | Homepage | 04.11.04 - 10:50 am | #

*

Isn?t Shianux like GREAT??! I love you Shianux!





3) Hell



I was just thinking about this a little.



If God were to exist, and reversibly, Satan, then hell must as well. Hell has been described as being with flames and coldness and cuts and ugly people etc, and the majority of us are scared of going in there, should we believe in religion.



I'm an atheist (hey I'm having the same religion as God!), but I believe very slightly in the notion of a hell, but I am not scared by hell.



No seriously. For example, if I were to be in this room? It is full of flames licking my lower body. I feel pain and agony. The room smells like shit, and some of the dead there are being cut up constantly, etc etc, I don't think I mind.



I wouldn't mind if I met Saddam there you know. I can talk cock with him while we laugh about how some idiot got cut up again (until its our turn that is) and I might even do an interview with him and write for Hell Daily.



If I met Tay Ping Hui there, I would have sex with him everyday, who cares about the stupid flames. Until we got cut up or Saddam gets jealous of course.



If I see Mother Teresa there I would go like "Hey I thought you should go to Heaven??!"



MT: "Yeah Yeah lets not talk about that? I've been asked a million times already."



Me: "Tell me, why are you here!!! Did you kill someone? Cheat on your husband?"



MT: "I read your blog."



Me: "Hey look there goes Lee again, he is shagging Goh!"



See, hell would be quite fun. It would not be scary enough! The way to go around scaring people would be to have a customised hell.



For example, my hell would be like this:



1. Parsley for food everyday. Parsley mealworms, Parsley cockroaches. At the best of day when I behave, it would be Deluxe Teriyaki Parsley would rotten asparagus and? Parsley soup.



2. Stupid people dominate hell. Trying to strike a conversation would go like this:

Me: Hey man you must show them you are a genius!



Patrick the pink starfish (in Spongebob Squarepants): Oh, but genius only live in lamps!



Me: -_-||

3. Constant nails-on-blackboard sound.

4. Our world is ruled by Lee. AGAIN.

5. Every guy is ugly and has STD.

6. Constant menstruation.



I suppose unless you are super evil, you don't deserve enough attention from God to get a customised hell, so I suppose I would just go into the normal flaming ones and pay chess with small frys like the local mamashop uncle who gives me constant insufficient change. But hey, God is omnipotent right? He could have read my blog and took in my suggestions for a customised hell.



4) Xiaxue is a Maddox wannabe



Fuck off, I am what I am even before I started to read Maddox. Nonetheless, I do like his writing a lot, and I do not deny that sub-consciously I might have got influenced a little bit. But I do not try to write like him.



5) Xiaxue I liked you, until....



I've been doing my usual google search for Xiaxue and found some other blog sites which mentioned me.



Now a common thing I realised is this: Some readers, typically girls, would state that they totally love me, until I insulted something they like, and then I transformed into the ultimate bitch.



How ridiculous is that??! I mean, seriously. This girl was saying that she likes my blog a lot, until she realised I fucking DETEST City Harvest. Now she says I am (actually just) a bitch, ugly, fat etc etc normal stuff la.



WHAT HER POINT? So before I wrote about City Harvest I wasn't a bitch? You love me, but just because I happen to disagree with something you like, you now think I am a sucky writer etc? I say, be more open-minded, people. You don't need to agree with me, nobody is asking you to. And disagreeing with certain issues does not mean you have to hate me.



Perhaps worse than City Harvest Girl was this girl who totally liked me, until.... I said S.H.E's outfits look like pantyliner covers. She used to read my blog daily, until she saw the FHM special.



DUH.



6) Can you please blog, I am bored.



No. Get off my back, I don't feel like writing, so I wouldn't. WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE? A SWORD-SWALLOWER? I'm not here to entertain you, so go play with matches or something.



7) NKF sucks?



Since so many people are complaining that NKF's charity show is torturing MediaCorp artistes, I wonder what we should do for the show to get people to donate as heartily. Note: I will be contradicting myself in the next paragraph.



- Constantly stab little kids with needles until a certain monetary target is reached. Pretend the kidnapper is caught (and the public goes whoop!) finally, and put him in jail where plastic surgery would be done for him so that he can live a free live again after that. As for the kids, they will heal; pain builds character and kids wouldn't be wimps. Plus point: the kidnapper can go on Extreme Makeover and have more coverage so that he might be a model in future.



- Repeat procedure for little animals and saw down trees too so that animal lovers and environmentalists will donate as well.



- Lets not forget stabbing dolphins too.



- Constantly stab Sun Ho as well so city harvest fucks would donate. Hey wait. Already done. Cool.



8) My mum is reading my blog;



and so do tons of my relatives. My colleagues read my blog. My editor saw my blog.



One conclusion. This really sucks! So much less freedom. =(



9) New hordes of Xiaxue haters from the dreamd8 contest.



*waves to them*



Not surprising, considering my "unlikeabiliy" compared to the other mild-natured contestants. As I said, I am an acquired taste. What's hilarious is that they think they are damn cool coz they are such avid haters and their oooh-scalding! comments are supposed to make me cry or something.



Oh dear, I am fat and ugly and I am a bitch? I am a slut who fucks around?



I have heard those a million times, ha ha ha ha, and I am boooooored.



Ardent readers will know my way of dealing with them.



1) So?

2) Who cares?

3) You jealous ah?



That will just make them so bloody pissed while I hop around in delight.



10) One last thing about Dreamd8



Singtel has decided to mask the amount of votes for each contestant. Very funny, like that would even slightly help Janice and Mia (not that I support Mia at all). Poor Janice, she is bound to be booted out this week, because..... well look at Posh's votes shoot damn high as "her parents" vote for her, soon. Bloody bitch.



If that doesn't happen, I swear I will shoot myself. She has (possibly) spent at least $4000 (if its only her and Shaun conspiring, although I highly doubt Guy23 and Sel are not in it as well) on this contest, and sure as hell she would make herself win.



I say, if you have been catching up with Dreamd8, please vote for Janice, she is possibly the only sincerely nice girl left. (I know for a fact you said I am a wannabe and you hate me, Mia, so stop coming into my channel and playing nice with my readers yeah, I'm really not interested to be friends with you.)



What is Singtel trying to do here? While it is saying it wants to uphold justice, it does this. Sure, they took out the vote out factor, but what does it do? Posh would still vote herself damn high up. No biggie.



I guess this is a win-win situation for Singtel. Since:



- Posh will spend an infinite amount of money to vote for herself since she needs to play safe.

- The public cannot see her votes so they cannot comment that it is obvious the whole game is rigged. No public backlash = good.

- Posh would have to spend money on Sel as well coz if she goes to the cruise with Janice you can be sure I will make my way there as well and smack her boobs with a long brinjal. I will then proceed to have a fun time with Janice.

- Posh would have to spend money on toy-boy Shaun as well.



Well these are all my assumptions of course.



As for ME AND KEITO, IT'S FUCKING UNFAIR.



If the vote out has not been taken out last week, we would not have been eliminated!!! How can they be so f-ed up? After me and Keito are out, they do without the vote out thing!



Very funny, Singtel.



*

I am shocked you read till here. (2850 words!)

Read more »

MISSED ME?? I AM BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Read more »

Singtel Blog Competition, dated 14 April 2004



Updated: I will only start the blogging tomorrow. Let's just say something happened, and it lasted till now, which is super late. (4am).



Indeed, I'm outta here.



All's cool people. I am very angry, but I'm feeling pretty happy at the moment too!



1stly: I'll got a press conference at Conrad with some star (Taiwanese one, but cannot reveal now coz u all might stalk him), and there is BOUND TO BE GOOD FOOD!



2ndly: I have epliated my armpits finally. Too busy to do so recently coz of the contests. Cannot even eat properly. How to eat when u know when u eat somebody is sniggering away while "her mum" votes you down? Moreover epliate. Now I can shop like a normal girl~ I dun need to spend my Sundays staring at this fcuked up page! I CAN PLAY MAHJONG AGAIN!!!! Yaay! Its all good.



3rdly: I am moving back to blogspot WHERE THE STAR IS CLEARLY ME MYSELF AND I. I am the best (who gives a shit what u think) and I will be the one everyone's attention is on on MY PAGE. No more worries about slandering Lee Hsien Yang accidently. I CAN TYPE FCUK PROPERLY. I'm happy!



4thly: EIleen is treating me to a movie and since everyone thinks I am damn poor thing everyone is treating me very nicely. My mom gave me a hug this morning. Everybody say Awwwww



5thly: I am damn touched by you guys!



6thly: Who cares about this contest? Obviously I am the best dreamdate. I peel prawns! And I rule!!



More blogging tonight, I have to go for the press conference now.



Be sure to be back tonight, to REVEAL ALL THE UGLY DEEP DARK SECRETS OF THE CONTESTANTS.



Yeah u can flame all u want after that. Try flooding my inbox, I dun give a shit. I just delete it before I even read it. And if I am free enough to read it, I laugh. Thanks.

Read more »

Singtel Blog Competition, dated 9 April 2004



Looking at my miserable looking votes now, I guess I can only sigh.



Tonight, there is a high chance I will be the one going out.



Meanwhile, I would like to say a great thank you to all my readers who have been supporting me. You guys made blogging wonderful, and made my days shine.



Special thanks to Neo, Cherub, Ting, Jo (since ages ago, this girl!), GateCrash, Gaylord (he claims he is not gay), nad~, Hai ren, shuen, rachels, Naiveguy, lotise, Zenith, and etc etc die hard blogders who have been here for me!!



Please vote me up if you can.. I don't wanna end with such an embarrassing amount of vote outs.. =(



Meanwhile.. to catch the action live, go to my channel #xiaxue at irc galaxynet!

Read more »

Singtel Blog Competition, dated 9 April 2004



Wow. I'm shocked to see that Singtel really implemented the number of voters system for all to see how many people are voting so soon. However, theres one little glitch which everyone overlooked.



The number of voters includes the number of people voting OUT as well. I called Singtel to ask, and this is what they told me.



Of course my 202 voters could have a high percentage of it from the vote outs (though i highly doubt so coz I think its from the same people). Thus, the number of voters does not necessarily mean the number of supporters.



This also means, that Posh's 66 voters do not all like her as well. Some apparently has a strong distaste for her.



Meanwhile, for Sel's entry, apparently she wasn't talking about me. But see, I dun understand. If you've got something to say, just say the name la! You mumble mumble some, and of course people might think its them correct?



I do think she is talking about me, because



1) I do think that everyone loves me deep inside. (Kidding - some people don't get it.)

2) I do think that someone else is cheating, and mentioned it.



So yeah, my readers have pointed out to me they think Sel is talking abt me, so whats wrong with defending myself first? Its not being sensitive. It sounds like me, so you expect me to wave it off and say, "Hey, I must be being sensitive la, surely not me one."



And am I supposed to msg you to ask you, Sel?



One more thing. Your world does not revolve around me. MY world revolves around me (who else is it supposed to revolve around I wonder, Lee Kwan Yew?), which is why I took action to defend myself. I do not hope (nor think) your world revolves around me. For one, I do not even bother to read ur blog till people pointed it out to me.



No, you did not get slammed. Its just a clarification on my part. I still like you as a person (prior to the claws, which is when I cannot trust anyone anymore), and I think you seem a pretty nice girl.



I'll blog more later. Afterall, today is a PRESS HOLIDAY!!! I'm so glad. Meanwhile, I'm working on the NKF story as well, it will be a fullpage on Monday, be sure to get your copy of TODAY to look out for it! If you ask me, this year's NKF charity show 2 would be a good one, and I'm not even saying this because I work for MediaCorp. You'd know if u read my article. *winks*



Oh yeah I'm setting up a forum for you guys to post up comments. Support it!



p/s: do u know that veto is the opposite of vote? Do you know if you read my blog, i call you a blogder? (blog + reader = blogder) Do you know I'm too paiseh to say I have "fans" although some call themselves that? This is because I think I'm just a common girl, not worthy of being idolised. And idolisers are mostly irrational; I don't want blind worshipping.



Which is why I call my supporters blogders, even if they don't like me (deep down inside they do), coz they read my blog anyway.



Cheers!

Read more »

Singtel Blog Competition, dated 7 April 2004

In reply to Sel's entry, which she will no doubt claim it isn't me she's talking about, I have to say this. I have a right to suspicion, and voice it out. If its not her, people have eyes to see for themselves, and not trust my judgement.



These are the facts that I know. Jan's votes went down. Mine went down. Mia's went down. And then it started hitting mine negative.



Blog reader Neo saw what happened, and voted Posh down a little. Immediately, Posh's went up to counter Neo's votes, and mine stopped dropping. After pushing hers to an ideal, the mystery person started to vote me down again.



Now, what can be concluded?



I drew my own, and I aired it. If its really not her, then too bad, coz somebody made it seem like it. I only believe my own eyes.



And what do you mean not everybody loves me??! EVERYBODY LOVES ME. Some are in denial, and some are just faking it. =D Some may seem like they really don't like me, but in fact they are trying to get my attention.



Anyway, the thing now is, I called Singtel up with a very jaded voice (please take a long at Keito's votes) and complained a hell lot about the flawed system.



Rumours are flying everywhere about how Singtel is only interested to earn money from this thing, and obviously contestants are voting for themselves (i didnt say I don't, nor did I say I do), etc.



A long conversation later, organiser Phillip (if i spelt his name right) promises future benefits for maintaining integrity in my blog (ie not voting for oneself) - for example being ambassadors in future events. One wonders how much truth his statements contains. To a certain extent, it could be seen as a way to pacify me to stop me from deleting this whole blog away altogether, or stopping to blog.



I have decided, however, to believe his words I guess. Should it not come true, everyone would know that Singtel is a big fat liar. Anyway, if they disqualify me or something, I would continue blogging on my usual blog at xiaxue.blogspot.com, which is the best pink site in the world.



The conclusion? Stop voting Posh out (for christ's sake look at her votes). If you think I should win, vote for me, IN. Singtel says that they would implement a voters' count, so that at least we can see how many people are voting. However, when this will be implemented is another issue. Maybe after I get voted out this week? Then whats the point?



Its alright, people got eyes to see who has readers/supporters, and who doesn't.



Sorry Singtel dudes, but I am feeling really doubtful about everything now. I can't help, but feel I am being spoken to in a condesending manner, as if I'm some ah soh asking for more veggies in her chicken noodles. If Singtel doesn't do anything about this, then I guess I will just QUIT.



*****



Thanks for reading so much. Now back to real blogging ok? I get feedback from people commenting that they love my previous blog so much more.



Two things:

1) I'm now a journalist, so I do have to watch my words, or lose my job. Please try to understand that.



2) I'm sorry if u are bored by entires related to this competition. I guess since blogging is about my life, I would surely blog abt this contest, since its in my life!!



Heres my entry anyway:



That day I think Ben was lamenting as usual about how a great person with a nine-incher like himself cannot get a girlfriend. I told him to use his dcik to slap whoever dares reject him, and she will come beg crawling begging for another whack. Ben cried, so I told him..



"Ben, nvm la, I think you are in the top, er.. 500 men I would marry."



He cried more.



"No la! got compared with Brad Pitt all that one leh... Plus Bill Gates also u know...!"



He gave me a touched smile. (The Ben part is totally fiction) Whatever it is, it led me to wonder... Who will be the top 15 men I would like to shag??!



*Drumrolls*



Ala FHM style, here you go, the bloody privileged few.

15.

The Levi's ad guy





Alright it is not this particular queer looking Levi's model, but the one we often see on MRT poster/orchard underpass. I can't find the exact picture. The one I'm talking about is the picture of the guy which his butt facing the camera and half his body in the water.



My god, that butt!!! Makes you just wanna smack him, the naughty boy! And he's cute too, despite the little bits of white hair at the ends. Besides, this is one guy who have done mermaids before, so he would possibly appreciate warm, none-slimy females. Cool.



14.

Fei Yu Chin





I am sick of hearing his sick voice. Its gross. He sounds like he doesn't get enough. If good sex could shut him up, I'll do the sacrifice. Anything but Fei Yu Chin's singing.



13.

Fred Flintstone





The fact that he doesn't have armpit hair and has only 3 toes on each feet and 4 fingers make him look so damn sexy.



12.

Andy Hui





I want him to tell me I'm better than Sammi Cheng. Anyway, here's one guy who'd possibly appreciate my boobs wahahhahaha.



11.

Edwin Yeo





Am I the only who had enough of his Shu Qi fixation? Enough is enough. HER EYES ARE TOO FAR APART!!! Why don't men see it?!



Anyway, I'll show Edwin Shu Qi is nothing. Abso-fcuking-lutely nothing. Compared to me of course. Xiaxue=sex goddess



No bubble baths can save Shu Qi after I give Edwin the time of his life.



10.

David Beckham





For obvious reasons. Oh wait no, he doesn't usually look like a goat, I don't know what went wrong. No.. I'm not into goats alright?! Look. I'm serious, I'm not into goats. Not when there are llamas.



But usually Beckham looks pretty shaggable! Let me try to put another picture of him...















Finding ah...





































AUUUUUUUUURRRRGGGHHH!!! WHAT WENT WRONG??!! WHATS WRONG WITH BECKHAM??! WHY LIKE THAT??!



9.

Twins from Amazing Race





I shagged twins I shagged twins!!



8.

Jack Neo





Wa ha ha ha ha ha KIDDING.



8.

Bruce Almighty





Did you see that orgasm he gave to Jennifer Aniston??!



7.

Jeremy



Just Jeremy. (only old blog readers understand)



6.

Peter Pan





It was a tough choice between Peter Pan and Superman, because I thought sex while flying is way cool.



I decided on Pan because of three reasons. 1) Pan is cuter. 2) I am into paedophillia. 3) Even if he was thinking of another girl in bed, he would still say.. "Oh Wendy.." and thats fine by me.



And the little jungle suit is darn alluring.



5.

Tay Ping Hui





You sneer. I beg to differ. I met Ping Hui (woah, my friend ah) at the press conf for Spice Siblings a few days ago, and till now I'm still weak at the knees ok?



Not only is he super hot, he seems genuinely a nice person too.



Me and him are sitting down.



Me: "Hey, I wanna take a photo with you!"



Tay: "Sure!" Proceeds to stand up and tower over me. *looks shocked to realise that he is so much taller.



Me: "Urrgh you sit down!"



Tay: "Orh."



The photographer prepared to shoot, but told us to wait coz he needs to change the lens.



*awkward silence*



Me: "Haha I told him to do that so that I can sit beside you for longer..."



Ping Hui turned, looked at me in the eyes, and looked a mixture of puzzlement and amusement. When I was drowning in his puppy-like eyes, he said, "But, all you have to do is ask!"



WEAK KNEES



Afterwards he said, "Hey you must send me those!!", and proceeded to give me his email but as usual I am too hum chee to do anything about it.



I want Tay Ping Hui. I want Tay Ping Hui!!



4.

Jack Sparrow





I shagged a pirate! I shagged a pirate!



3.

Asevalone





Oh he is so damn cute!! I wanna shag him...



Only if I have Aids.



Anyway, read Shaun's chat logs, 2nd March, 7th sentence. Thats the reason why He's only 3rd and not 1st.



2.

Mystique





She is really perfect, because she can become ANYTHING you want, be it donkey or Brad Pitt. But then again, some things are better authentic. Like our winner.



1.

Legolas





Declared by me as the most fcukable creature of the year 2004. Legolas is an elf who never dies and never gets dirty (dirt ok, really dirt). However, some suspect he is having an affair with ugly drawf Gimli.



It would be damn cool to have sex and have him moan in Elfish! And then you can lick pointy ears. So cute!!! I personally would have him play human darts with me, since his aiming so darn good.

*****



Sleep liao, damn tired, tml still got to go see NKF rehearsals. Nights!! (Shall not check for grammar mistakes.)

Read more »

Singtel Blog Competition, dated 6 April 2004



From the 200 plus votes I had this morning, someone voted me down to -65 votes. Thats a fcuking 50 bucks spent already.



During the same period of time, Janice's votes, from 248, went down to 65. (whats with the 65 anyway?). Mia's miserable 40+ votes were not let off either.



Whatever. I believe in fair play, and that my fans will support me till the end. I have been bullied, and surely you guys will help me win back the injustice done to me!!



May the best blog win. In any case, I have decided on my blog topic today, and despite my mood being a little more than foul, I will still write it, coz I AM DA BLOGGER!!!



=D



blogging now, brb

Read more »

Singtel Blog Competition, 4 April 2004



Someone whom I have always viewed as a politically correct person, has stood right up and told us the bare-naked truth without mincing her words.



Ladies and gentlemen, read Janice's latest entry, with the seemingly harmless title, My dream d8.



Perhaps she is not afraid, because she is speaking the truth.



I know for a fact that people are voting for themselves. Think about it. They might have readers/fans/desperados supporting them, but how many would wake up at the wee hours of the morning like crazy Neo ("For the spirit of true blogsmanship, it is as much ur game as mine!")?



From the jump, jump, jumping of the rankings in the wee hours of the morning, we know something is amiss.



I know, because I earned my die-hard readers over 1 year of hard-core blogging. When I was in another blogging contest that won by just votes (free votes!), I merely had 200 + votes. Thats how lazy people are. They at most, just read. Few bother about the contest, and fewer are about to take out their wallets.



Within a sheer period of 1 or 2 months, its difficult to get readers who are ardent enough to vote for you all the way. Unless, of course, you are drop dead gorgeous.



The reason why American Idol viewers are so much more willing to vote lies in the title itself. The singers, are portrayed as idols. Icons that people look up to, and people go gaga over.



The interactivity of this contest, has made it such that we are nearer to telemarketers and further from idols.



Let's face it. Since when did Clay Aiken go like "Oooh I'm so happy I've got fans!" and name them one by one like the contestants are doing? There is nothing wrong with being appreciative of support, but it just goes to show how minute the fan base is - I guess.



Is self-voting considered cheating? Perhaps not then, some contestants might argue with you... "They say people must think that I am a dreamd8... Yeah, my mother think so lor..."



True enough. To play the game, one must go all the way. If you don't cheat, others will do so anyway. There is no point is saying "yeah you win but without glory." No point! She/he is walking away with US$5,000 and would use it to slap your face!



Perhaps another thing would be the ficticious (i am lazy to check the spelling) entries on how one contestant is in love with another. One suspects that it is all sensationalism to get readers.



That, I believe, is really saddening.



Playing smart? Cheating? You decide.



I'm gonna watch a movie now, be back laters with your peeps at 12am, on irc channel xiaxue k? Laters.

Read more »

Singtel Blog Competition, dated 4 April 2004



Bimbotic Entry Of The Day Wor! (kekeke)



Isn't my new profile picture pretty?



Heehee.. So pretty wor... Mi likes. esp e pink flwoers, so sweet worz



Stole it from Janice's banner kekeke... Photoshopped the white flowers onto my pix kekeke.... took me a while wor, its tough! sianz den muz make the flowers pink den make a bit bit transparent lorx LOL ROTF kekeke.



Even added a bit of stupi, i mean, toopid lens flare to make it look like got sunlight shining at me worx!! So creaive horz? mi hair loOk shiny rite~



Yesterday I went to this pets shop wor! love the doggies inside very fluffy and pretty, like mi new profile pixture! Then at e pets shop guess what I saw... a toad! the person very farnie he make me laugh. he say Erm miss please dun touch ze toad.



I ask him why he lidat he say CHAO CB SAY DON'T TOUCH MEANS DUN TOUCH, lidat one leh, so fierce, ask only wat.



Then I gave him a bj (its a brinjal la) and he say it is v nice to eat so he eat it... eat liao wor, den his mOOd a biT biT nicer he told mi that the toad is actUally poisonous... wah so scary ah... I scared leh...



I ask him, wait the toad bite mI how please bring it far awAy frOm mi.. ~~ (>.<)



My face a biT like the symbols there kekeke so farnie kekekeke heehee



like dis:



(>.<)



He say when I loOk like (>.<) I loOk very cuTe so he suddenly throw the toad at me.



I run away! I scared of poisonous toad!! AAAAAHHH!! HoW? He very rude leh people giving (>.<) face that time suddenly throw toads at ppl. DOn't he nOe that it is very inpOliTe to throw toAds?



I cry, and he threw a star-shell tortoise at mi.... den i say OOOOrrhhh you DIE the kind of tortoise is extinct one it muz be illegal to sell them WOR!!! sell still nvm, still take and thrOw at peOple! The poor tortoise got feeling one lehx! (>.<)



I realised that the tortoise actually hit the poisonous toad and the toad cry also.



I hug him and cry.



The tortoise bo chup us wor.



den after this I take the toad run away with me lor... still crying wor, i cry v easily one worx.. (>.<) Then I scared I kanna the poison because my lips turn purple already, and become very big like this:



I show you you don't laugh horz!







Very painful...



then I go see doctOr lor...



DOctOr tell me I got Herpes leh... Then I ask him, what is a herpes? He say... AHHH THAT TOAD YOU ARE HOLDING!!! Very funny i oso dunno toad called herpes one.



He dOn't care about my swollen lips lehx. Very funny dis doc... after this he say.. hey yOur lips look very full, want to give me a bj?



I ask him, why, I tot oNly cat priests ask for bj one, moreover I'm not a little boy ha ha ha ha, den I tOld him lorx, my last bj already given to someone else.



he loOk very disapointed, and anyhOw give me somE medicine and ask me to gO lor. Don't understand why the doctOr angry just because I don't have a brinjal to give him. dOh.



Today got this blog reader msg me lehx...I am so happy, but I dunno wat 2 dO, u tell mi k k? kekeke

01:55:40 Alvin24

Hi,xiaxue. U hav a pretty looks. Care to be friends? I am alvin,24. I wan to know u more. U can msg to ********* Hope to hear fr u soon. Thks.



01:57:28 Xiaxue � Alvin24

hi! I would LOVE to be friends!



11:27:21 Alvin24

I duno is a contest. After the contest,u still treat me as a frd,pls store my hp num ******** & msg me,k? I am alvin,hope u rem.



11:29:12 Xiaxue � Alvin24

eeyer You so bad one message so many girls i'm angry liao la...



11:35:48 Alvin24

Got many gals meh? So how is it? After the contest,hope u can msg me using yur hp. Cos i realli wan to know u in person.



11:38:09 Xiaxue � Alvin24

sorry lor you don't only want to know me... You are so greedy you want all the girls... I want to give you my number, but why must you do this?



11:39:36 Alvin24

I where got msg all gals? Who say? I did not lor.



11:41:18 Xiaxue � Alvin24

yes you did... You msg them! :( can see from their chat logs one...



11:44:25 Alvin24

Only a few. I juz wan to know more frds. But i did not know its a contest. Juz hope u dun mind. But i wan to make more frds. If u dun mind.



11:47:35 Xiaxue � Alvin24

but i'm very jealous one... Don't want you to msg other girls...



11:49:06 Alvin24

K lor. Wun msg them liao.



11:51:29 Xiaxue � Alvin24

really ah? So cute ah you... What are you working as?



11:52:06 Alvin24

Army regular.



11:59:59 Alvin24

Y dun reply me liao? Juz now u even say wan to giv me yur num,bluff me 1.



12:10:47 Xiaxue � Alvin24

but i have herpes, you mind?



12:11:30 Alvin24

Sorry,wat is herpes?



12:13:33 Xiaxue � Alvin24

its a kind of poisonous toad that i keep as a pet...



12:14:18 Alvin24

I dun mind.

Yaaay...!! He say he don't mind me having Herpes leh.... So nice right.. But I scared to msg him back.. cos my lips mah... so big and purple wor... I scare he mind...



I mean, i loOk lidat now...







A bit scary ah. I'm v sad you know, don't laugh already la...



This entry is a joke. Don't judge me on it. And BTW, grammar and spelling mistakes are delibrate.

Read more »