Long post about nothing

I have like 160 photos to post and I need to get to Munkysuperstar by 3pm tomorrow! And it's 4am now! So chop chop!!

You know how at the start of Ugly Betty they will flash all these stripey faces? (Btw Ugly Betty is like my new favourite TV show coz every episode is just so cheerful and funny)

I had enough of those mysterious faces! WHO ARE ALL THESE UGLY PEOPLE?! How they look like if they had no swapped features?! Would they look good?

Here's what they let us see:

Normal face




Urgh! So ugly!


Unfortunate chick with Betty's famous ugly mouth - insured for US $1 million.

(No, I'm serious. Also, for those of you who didn't already know, Heath Ledger died like yesterday.)

And of course...

Betty herself

With a camera and some photoshopping, I PRESENT.........

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Amanda? Is that you?!


???

I know they don't look completely right, but these are the best fit I could find! I KNOW! How can someone be half blonde and half brunette right? WHATEVER! If you think you can do better go do it!

Colourful hundreds and thousands spilled on an NTUC shelf. Pretty!

Qihua and I did our nails:

Hers


Mine

They are really chio but the diamantes keep snagging on stuff! My hair, satin clothes, etc etc. Really annoying.

My latest efforts in my attempt to buy every single thing in pink: Contact lens.

CHIO NOT! I bought it from some spree, and the contacts have pink hearts on them plus a dark black rim to make your pupils bigger. It's chio (but a little too big for my irises as you can see)!

Went with Qihua to get her new kitty cat:

NIAP NIAP is its name! Isn't it just fucking cute or what!?!?!

It's a Persian Flatface and it's Baileys-coloured. I helped her choose it!

It is a pedigree that cost $1,400. (got up to like Great great grandfather's name and they all sound damn aristocratic like Javiar King of Hearts II or something like that... Unfortunately the kitty's original given name is Jaffa... Well now it's Niap niap, so I think old Javiar might flip in his grave if he knew how un-regal his great-great-grandchild's name is...)

Sibeh cute la! The kitty is very calm and sedated one... and it's super snuggly lor! I think I have officially changed from a dog person to a cat person leh!

Dogs are damn jumpy (most of the time) and always try to lick you and shit... Cats just crawl up to your lap and lie there purring and sometimes pawing your tummy.

Anyway Niap Niap somehow got himself some ringworms and is now shaved bald. Oh well.

Mike and I in St Paul after our flight from Japan.

Just in case you are thinking I'm mad to wear make-up for a 20 hour flight, you are wrong! All I had on was eyelash extensions for my top lashes! The "coloured contacts" and "lower lash mascara" are all added by my leet photoshop skills. Teeheeheehee!

Snowing in Minneapolis! Fucking minus 7 degrees can!

So unfortunately for us, just when we were about to board the plane there, they decided to load the plane's food on, so Mike and I were stuck in the open air area between the plane and the walkway.

LUCKY OR NOT?!

While the people loaded their shit, we stood there in the muthafucking cold for like 10 mins lor! I almost died I was so cold! And the snow fell onto my head! (that part was kinda nice coz the snow is very fluffy... but I was concentrating more on how my fingers were all numb even under Mike's armpits)

Finally, we reached Dallas, Texas. Mike's mom came to fetch us.

That's Mike in the guest room we were staying in.

US houses are so nice... Everyone's got carpet and there are NO INSECTS coz it's winter!

They even have an attic I climbed into. I touched the fluffy white stuff on the floor of the attic (it looks like cotton wool) and Mike shouted "DON'T TOUCH THAT!!!" at me.

Turns out it's shaved fibre-glass which insulates the house but is deadly to the touch. I could have dead!!

Xmas tree! (This blog entry is really late, isn't it?)


My fav decor on the tree

I kept pestering Mike to bring me to the mall, which is a good half-hour drive away. He drove me there and waited stoically at the bookstore for 3 hours, which pisses him off really bad.

WHY MUST ALL (ok, most straight) GUYS HATE SHOPPING??? And what's with the crowd phobia? They get all angsty and stressed when there are more people around? I don't get it.

A happy but tired me after VS shopping.

When I stepped into the store I felt like I was stepping into the inside of my head! Everything is fluffy, pink, and frivolous! LOVE!

Mike and I in his mom's, Ann's, car... Ann was really sweet to us and even rented a car for us while we were there! She's really nice! I like her! And I'm not just saying that coz she might read this, which I hope she won't because I use expletives. Which doesn't mean I am not a good type of girl. Ahem.

Lovely Texan skies


At Chilies!

That little black pan with the orange gloop on it is... ok it's some Mexican name that I cannot spell. But anyway, it is Chili mixed with melted cheese and it is damn super duper yummy!

Chili is not our traditional kind... it's a little like curry but it's dark brown and it has chunks of soft beef and sometimes also beans inside it. Very nice with corn chips!

Mike's cousin and best friend Kellet who says he wants to be on the blog and famous, haha... He is an army ranger!

Kelly (it's a nickname and apparently Kelly is a guy's name in US) with his wife, Tracy


Kelly with his mom, Aunt Martha, whom I really like and cooks really good food!

Xmas Eve at Aunt Martha's place!


Traditional Xmas tree and presents underneath
(not that they can all fit in there)


Me with an shriveled angmoh durian

It was a lovely crisp day so Mike, his brothers, and I ventured outside to hang out.

Everyone was dressed in a black top and jeans for professional photo-taking! Stupid Mike didn't tell me until the last min (ie, day before) that this was the plan, so my special Christmasy green dress which I specially brought to US for photos was not used. Boys! He didn't think it was very important, he says!

And I had no other black top but a lousy black turtleneck and my jeans were so blah! (Tucked into cream cowboy boots)

I wish I had a black shift dress that I could pair with black leggings and black, patent oxfords. And maybe gloves? Satin black gloves. Maybe a white belt and a white hairband so it doesn't look so funeralish. OK... Thinking too much. The event is over!

Mike with his brothers Daniel 24, and Jacob, 11. Paul (23) is missing...


"There he is!" says Jacob.

So cute right! Their eye colours are (from left) greenish-brown, Hazel (sometimes blue, sometimes brown), dark blue, and light blue.

Dad's eye colour is green and mom's is grey.

Their hair colour is all the same though! Ashy brown? Mike's feels a bit green to me sometimes.

I was talking to Mike's mom about her sons eye colours and I asked her if it is a big deal to Caucasian mothers the moment their newborn babies open their eyes, because isn't it a mystery? It could take on mom's colour, or dad's, or something else isn't it?

She laughed and told me that most white babies are born with blondish hair and dark-blue eyes, so it's not that exciting. It is only later than their eye colours change and their hair darkens to their final colour.

SO COOL RIGHT? WILL CHANGE SOMEMORE!

IF I HAVE A EURASIAN BABY WILL MY BABY ALSO HAVE DARK BLUE EYES?! Exciting.

Mike + cousins (minus Kelly who is missing) who are ALL BOYS?! He says the boy gene runs very strongly in his family so I should be prepared for boy babies if I ever marry him.

-_-

I'm going to fucking give birth 20 times until I get a girl lor, I DON'T CARE. I don't want boys, boys are dirty and smelly! Girl I can buy her pink stuff (I don't care if she doesn't like pink, I'd make her like it) and tie her hair!!

Anyway, I was also invited to take photos with the family!!

I am semi-family now! I am in Xmas photos!

Since I was standing on the edge (of the group), I delibrately put my arm around Mike's waist so that just in case he breaks up with me, they cannot crop me entirely away!! MY ARM WILL ALWAYS BE THERE!! MUAHAHAAHA! Evil not!!!


I imagine this scenario in future:

Mike's future slut girlfriend who is completely incomparable to me is at Mike's mom's place for the first time.

Future slut girlfriend (who is also fat): Is that your family portrait on the wall?

Mike: Yup, taken Xmas 2007.

FSG: You seemed very happy then.

Mike: Was not bad.

FSG: How come you are staring lovingly into... nothingness?

Mike: Eh...

FSG: Wait... A PART OF THIS PHOTO WAS CUT OFF!!

Mike: How did you... why do you say so? It wasn't.

FSG (raises a fat, jiggly arm to point at portrait): That is a cropped off hand of a girl!

Mike: Oh yeah that's my ex... Remember the one I cheated on with you? Yup.

FSG: But you told me she was a slutwhore whom your family and friends disagreed on! AND that she's fatter than me! You said she's like at least 50 pounds fatter! Which means she's like 350 pounds!

Mike: She is!

FSG: HER HAND IS SO NOT FAT. Show me this photo in its entirety!


Mike hesitates but his mom, who has been eavesdropping, rushes out with the non-cut-off photo and presents it to FSG.

Mike: Mommmmmm........ Why?

Ann shrugs, whispers: Son, you can do better than a whale. Look at you! You are handsome!

FSG: OMG OMG SHE IS GORGEOUS! I OUGHTA EAT SHIT AND DIE! WHY????! Why would you cheat on her with ME?

Mike, muttering to himself: I guess I was just a tad sick of screwing a perfect girl...

FSG goes on: She's like 100 times hotter! Is she smart? Tell me she is totally stupid or I'll just die right here.

Mike keeps quiet.

Mike's mom, whispering loudly to cat: She was in Mensa, wasn't she, kitty kitty?

(FSG runs out of the house in terror, and even falls down comically on the frontstep, leaving Mike to totally regret his decision to cheat on me)

Yup. That oughta be good.

Disturbing Mike while he eats


He ignores me


Full of hate!


So cute

At around this time, I started being sick... On Xmas day it became a full-blown fever.

Despite this, I still insisted we go to Northpark Mall, the upmarket mall an hour's drive away that houses Juicy Couture (among all the other big brands)!!

After all, this was the main highlight of my trip! Besides spending a REAL Xmas of course...

Had live ducks inside the mall!


Juicy monopoly set!!


Cupcake undies!

Inside Neiman Marcus, which also sells Juicy stuff.

But that's not what I wanted. What I wanted was...

The real Juicy store.



With real Juicy products!

For a whole half hour I spent inside there, my fever disappeared.

(I'll show u guys what I bought later.)

Humongous crab legs that Ann cooked for the family one day! (compare to a normal-sized salt shaker)

IT IS SO SUPER YUMMY I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN.

I used to think that eating crab legs was stupid coz the crabs we eat in Singapore have puny legs, but snow legs have very big legs apparently!

Definitely comparable to eating the claws or body - and plus the shell is very easily removed so it's much more fuss-free.

We had an awesome meal with the crab legs... Simply oven-heated and dipped in melted butter. Oh my goodness, so good!

MY POOR BROKEN NAIL!

Can you imagine if I separate the top and bottom part of the nail a little bit you can see blood and pink flesh inside the crack!? Ewww! And fucking painful!

Had to cut off my chio acrylic nails... :(

BTW in case you are wondering what happened, after a few days the top part of the nail just DROPPED OFF! It didn't hurt, just that the part that was supposed to be covered by my nail just felt a bit tender, that's all.

Ann's super cuddly kitty cat.

I miss it! It likes to cuddle up in warm stuff (laps, clothes, bedsheets) and purr when you stroke up. It especially likes Mike's squishy belly (which admittedly I like a lot too. I see the appeal).

It would suddenly have a change of temperament and bite though!

Mike's treat at Red Lobster. Prawns, jumbo scallops and lobster tail! Yum, yum and yum.

We go back to Singapore after 3 very cold but very enjoyable weeks.

Transit in St Paul, Minneapolis again, and it's snowing outside on New Year's Eve.

What's that on the window?

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SNOWFLAKES.

Aren't they beautiful?


Close-up

I know that snowflakes are shaped like that, but I never thought that every single snow that falls from the sky forms 1 flake! I tot one drop of snow is made of many flakes that can only be seen under the microscope or something!

But no! The snow keeps hitting onto our plane's window and even time it hits, it creates a beautiful symmetrical pattern! Nature's quite wonderful sometimes, isn't it?

Those little fluffy flakes of white makes me quite happy, and I totally don't regret having a snowflake tattoo now. Hahaha!

Ever wondered what those big round plastic backing of the business class seats contain?

The answer is...

Nothing.

That's right.

It's just an empty, useless space.

Its sole purpose of existing is to taunt us Economy people even more.

Says the seat backing: "Oh you poor people! Can't afford business? No space for your legs? Ha! Not only does Business Class have space for legs, we also have EXTRA space that we put to no good use! What do you mean we can give that space to economic passengers? Why would we? YOU THINK WE ARE COMMUNISTS NOW, HUH? Nope, I'd rather put that precious airplane space to no good use at all. That's right. Being poor sucks, doesn't it?"


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Now for my US shopping! I don't care if you are bored by now, I just wanna show off all my awesome buys!

US shopping is FANTASTIC man! Things are actually much more fashionable here, and the quality is really good (as compared to like Bugis Village kinda quality, if you get what I mean) and they have really, really nice stuff!

Ann recommended DFW (Dallas Fort Worth) shoes, much to Mike's displeasure, which is humougous place completely filled with designer shoes at really low prices.

I bought these...
Guess slippers and Steve Madden Mary Janes.
Comes in brown velvet and a chunky heel trimmed with gold.

They totally don't have my size (5) but it's too chio to miss so I bought one in 7 for myself and one in 9 for Shuyin!

Both are too big but nvm lor, can stuff tissue in front!

The Steve Maddens at USD59.90 (and still looks the part) are now USD11.99!!! Can faint or not?

Forever 21 is my favourite shop in the mall. Things are super duper cheap there, and like, the most expensive thing there is possibly... 30 USD? Which is 45 Sg bucks maybe?

I dug through their sales rack for around 4 hours (there is a lot of clothes there) and bought a multitude of things from 0.99 to 7.99. The best thing is, all the summer clothes are on sale, and unlike the fucking annoying Forever 21 in Singapore where the size available is only L, everything there is XS and S!

AWESOME RIGHT?

How many times have you been inside Forever 21 in Singapore, found something you like, only to be told you can't get it because only fucking L (or worse, XL) is left?!

WHY AM I BEING PUNISHED FOR BEING NOT FAT?!

If there are so many people sized S in Singapore, why is F21 stocking in so many GODDAMN Ms and Ls for?

And if something is only left in L, why don't they put all these clothes into a separate part of the store for fat people, so I DON'T FUCKING SEE THESE CLOTHES AND NOT BE ABLE TO BUY IT?!

This is actually getting me pissed off. I hate hate hate it when I see stuff in L I can't get!

From now on I'll only buy F21 stuff from the website.

To happier stuff:

Mesh black oxfords in 4 inch heels and satin ribbons


White heels

Both from F21 at around 20 bucks.
(They are still being sold on the website btw)

IT WAS SO FREAKING AWESOME. The shoes were all lying on the floor and they were all so so pretty but nobody wanted to buy them because... the only size left was 5.5 and angmohs cannot wear that.

So I grabbed them up! I ought to have bought more but my luggage was full to burst, not to mention very close to being overweight...

Which is why I bought another luggage!!

Pink satin with brown polka dots.

Very pretty right?! There is a luggage place in the mall where you can get all sorts of designs from leopard print to yellow polka dots and the luggages are like 20.99 for the small ones to 49.99 for the bigass ones. Mine is 29.99 I think, Medium.

From Walmart:

Diet pills for 14 USD each that don't really work. Oh well...

Watermelon flavour deodorant!

Singapore's choices are so limited... Now if you smell watermelon near to me you'll know it comes from my armpits, haha...

I don't know why I bought this since I can get Veet in Singapore...


Self tanning moisturisers and Sally Hansen's Hard As Wraps nail polish.

The polishes are like 4 USD. They cost $13 each in Singapore!

I reckon the best brands to buy in US for cheap are F21, Coach, and Sally Hansen. Nods sagely.

Purple colour toothpaste! It's so cute I had to get it.

I don't understand what's with all the cavity-protection, or whitening, or total protection whatever...

How many percent of toothpaste is just foam anyway? Can't they just DUMP ALL THESE ATTRIBUTES INTO A SINGLE PASTE?

What happens if I buy 5 tubes of paste with different properties and mix them? Does it mean I get whiter, brighter teeth with fresher breath and at the same time get total protection plus a green tea flavour?

I don't give a shit!

Just make a chio-looking toothpaste and I assure you toothpaste makers that there will be mindless females who will buy them!

I'm thinking a baby pink Juicy Couture toothpaste. Squeezes out in a light pink paste with and the shape of a crown! Or or... a jet black Chanel one with a white logo and black diamante cap. YOU TELL ME YOU WON'T BUY THEM!?!

Jelly Belly soda flavours!

My fav is Root Beer and Cream Soda... The rest is all Mike's.



Walmart house brand's whitening strips.

They taste horrible! They work but I haven't been using them often enough...


Tank top for like 9 bucks or something...

I bought another one that is black, has a bunny on it too, and reads "I am not spoilt, I deserve all my stuff" and it mysteriously disappeared! Qihua says the cat probably carried it off somewhere coz Niap niap does that. :(

Hair curler - USD 14


Makes hair like this! Nice hor!


Pink gemstone bracelet!

Like 6 USD I think.
It's really tough to find large gemstones in Singapore, and I love them!


Hot pink Bratz webcam.
It's not cheap leh, like 25 USD I think.


Baby pink fleece jacket, 10.


Baby booties and 6 pairs of baby stockings
(taken unceremoniously out of box coz luggage no space) for my cousin's baby!
She's gonna give birth soon!

3 USD for 3 pairs of stockings, and around 4 USD for the boots.
Pink suede with fur trim!


Shorts from Target: 9.99


Can you believe I lugged this home? I think this is only 16 bucks!

NOW TO JUICY STUFF!

Mike's Xmas present for me:

USD 88.

Set of 3 bracelets that writes "For Nice Girls Who Like Stuff". I super love it so much lor... I look at it and tear in joy. Ok, being a bit dramatic. My bf is the best!!!

Juicy undies! In a lollipop!

Small bottle of Juicy perfume bought in Walmart for 12 bucks. Urgh, it doesn't smell very nice! But it's chio. :D

Keychain: 15



Can you see how super gorgeous even the receipts are?!

Bracelets from Claire. The wood one was on 80% discount or something!

AND STUFF FROM F21!!!

Starting from accessories:

Set of 2 gemstone rings, 3.80.












For Qihua. As you can see, I went a bit mad with the gemstones stuff.










I don't know which one I am (dyed), so...


(this is like 99 cents)

Awesome sales rack clothes (mostly):


Major chio velour shorts in Hot Pink and Navy...

First day I went, I saw Navy in XS and Pink in M, so I bought both, thinking the pink is too chio to miss so I'll wear it a tad loose. Next day, I saw pink in XS too! So I bought it and give the M to Shuyin (who is wearing it loose too, haha!).

Backless halter top that strangely enough fits really well! I think 5.99.

The sequins trend haven't even started to really hit Singapore, (shops are selling but not many people wearing yet) but in US, the sequined stuff are already starting to go on sale.

$12.50.


Terry turquoise romper. 7.99


Preppy black skirt 4.99

Casual shorts. 7.99 or something? They are really cheap la! I'm not gonna mention price from now on coz all the clothes are around 5 bucks each.

Low-back halter with built-in bra padding!


Orange skirt. I have boots in that exact same colour!
(Colour is more like almond in real life)


Keyhole at the back, and ribbed material! Very comfy. :)


F21 is still selling this.

I saw it in Vivo City in (what else?) size L and is selling for some atrocious price.

Chioest of the chio white satin heart quilted jacket!

$27.99!! (non-sale la of course)

I saw Singapore's F21 selling this for 79 or something ridiculous like that.


Black eyelet bra


Another


Purple satin

All these are around 8.80.

Ok end of F21 products.


Baby pink Fendi-inspired spy bag!

I saw this at the mall and was super surprised to see fake products being sold in US. Turns out it's not illegal coz there is no Fendi logo on the bag!

I super love this bag lor, it is has a total of EIGHT compartments and the inner lining is also baby pink and has the brown leather trim.

$25.99. Sing dollar $38!

10 bucks


12.50, with rhinestones

Must be guilt for making Mike wait while I shop...


Fleece shorts, 10 bucks.





Super chio nighties for only $16.99!!!!!!!!!!!

The second one even has a hole for you to show off your ass crack lor!




Rompers @ 4 bucks each!


Black, grey, and rhinestoned leggings


VS STUFF!


Moisturising spray with glitter!

It smells really nice and looks awesome on legs. 12 bucks? I forgot how much.


VS bronzers at a major discount of 80%.

Are these like 3 bucks each? I don't remember!




Purple for Qihua

These VS bags are madness... 12 bucks for the 2, and 16 for the gold. As if that's not cheap enough, each of these bags contain 3 largish bottles of moisturiser, body mist and shower foam or something. Which means 12 bucks for a chio bag and 3 bottles of toileries!

This means that bag and each toiletry is 4.5 Sing dollars each.

I gave all the bottles to Mike's mom coz I know I won't really use them (9 bottles how to use all?!) and my luggage was already so full.

10 bucks each.

I don't know what got into me, but the santarina outfits were really too FUCKING CUTE TO RESIST!

I bought them and told myself it's gonna be next Halloween's outfits.

Are they really cute or are they really cute!?

I don't know who the hell can wear the ribbon on the ass skirt... Afterall it only has a very flippable ribbon covering the ass!

I had no idea how much I spent shopping... but now I do, due to this bill:

Almost jumped out of my skin. I honestly thought I spent like 700. :(

And what the hell did I buy at walmart for 179 dollars?!

Lastly, MY XMAS PRESSIES!

From Mike's family (I think Mike's dad bought this for me)


From Mike's grandma.

Can matchy matchy my velvet hot pink shots!


And nicest of all...












Mike's family bought me a real diamond necklace.

I must go back to Thailand to give my thanks to the four-sided god. I prayed to him eons ago that I should get a good bf and now I got one!!

Got some more pictures but I'm too tired to continue this! It's now 8am, JESUS!

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Please watch new shows!!

Chick VS Dick!

Qihua and Paul Twohill are in a new show! In each episode they pit each other on and do various challenges. Who will you vote for, and can you really eat a spoonful of cinnamon? Check it out! CLICK.

Xiaxue's Guide to Life

In this episode, I give away my ultimately sacred recipe. I'm secretly an awesome chef. CLICK.




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